Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm really busy with my period
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