that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
