why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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