Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
