day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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