he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
honey bunches of taint.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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