took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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