I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
