OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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