So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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