at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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