i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
