He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize