Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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