Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
