Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
