It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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