im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
