The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
