Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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