I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
