i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Floor bacon is actually really good
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
