we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
