i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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