woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
