well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
