plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
