so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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