Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
