How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
