Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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