My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
