Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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