the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
People in love make me want to vomit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
