Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't deserve a penis
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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