Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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