haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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