There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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