I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
