well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
