I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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