if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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