if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
