Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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