is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
