My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
