My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
