So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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