her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
