it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
