just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
