I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize