The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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