I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize