just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
