whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
