oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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