I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize