Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
