I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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