I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
