Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
