One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
