If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
