I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Operation Purity has been aborted
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize