she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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