the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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