You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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