I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
